Wednesday, March 12, 2008

When all they face is "this"...

"I now know why some people get bitter after being here..." Belinda said.
"I don't know how the people ( Afghan) here do it. How do they even manage to get up every day when all they face is this?"

Belinda called this morning. It is a really hard day for her, physically, emotionally and spiritually. The "this" that she refers to is the grinding poverty, pain and suffering of the locals that overwhelms the capabilities and resources of their small post.

A month ago they had extreme heat with cold nights. The cold has gone, taking with it the little relief it brought...now it is torrid, blistering heat. The children coming to her post no longer want a small toy or candy- they are barefoot, their feet cracked and bleeding from the broiling ground. They cry and beg for sandals.

The children approaching her farm the land around the post from sunrise to sunset, there is no relief for them, they will walk this scorching soil for the entire length of their days. She feels helpless, angry and frustrated that something so small as a pair of shoes could do so much for someone, yet she does not have the one thing that could bring them some relief.

They ask for water. The Canadians give them what they can. One little boy stands patiently and politely waiting his turn. Belinda offers him the water, and spying the little boy's dad off in the distance bent over and toiling hard, farming in the blistering heat , she offers him a second water and an orange for them to share.
I can hear it in her voice, the anger, the helplessness ...I remind her that her just being there brings change and good to someone's life, even in a moment as small as to offer a thirsty little boy and his father some water.

She feels a boiling rage building in her that she can do so little to help so much suffering. The soldiers all find different ways to cope with seeing so much misery. Some bottle it in, or try to act indifferent, some - like Belinda, rage...

The TV news does not even come close to showing the scope of just what the people there endure. She said the only thing remotely accurate is scenes portrayed in the recent Afghan movie "Kiterunner". She gets a lump in her throat now when she sees little boys and girls done up in make-up, for now she knows what that means. It is not just little kids playing dress up... Where you find extreme poverty, you find sexual exploitation, children are sometimes used for bartering, for survival... Afghanistan, Darfur, Thailand...even here on our North American soil, it is always the youngest and weakest that will pay the biggest price. And those intending harm will exploit every means possible. She is sickened to realize just how many of these children have probably been raped, many repeatedly, at some point in their short lives...

A little girl of 6 or 7 toting a tiny baby. Belinda communicates through the interpreter. The little girl is looking after her infant brother while mom works. They walk the deadly roadway in the blistering heat, where the IED's are found daily and destroyed by the Canadians, but they are just as quickly re-planted in the cover of night by those intending harm. She is upset that these two innocents are walking the roadway in the face of such hazards- but that is the day in the life of a child in Afghanistan.

Belinda is my baby in the midst of all of this suffering and chaos. She is my baby on the hazardous roads there... and all I can do is listen to her experiences and offer whatever verbal comfort that I can, and honor and share the truth of what she sees and feels here.
I share something universal with the mothers of Afghanistan. We all want our babies to be okay...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Nins, I know you don't get to read the blog too often if at all, but I do hope your Mom or Dad lets you know that all of us here are thinking of you all the time.
We can't share in your experiences, but we can let you know we support you in all you do. Nins, just your smile to anyone is a light of hope and comfort,people see the good in others no matter who they are, and you shine with goodness. We know your doing all you can to help, and we are very proud of you for that. Thanks. I am preparing another box and I will try to send useful items to you. I don't think the one we sent first has got there yet.
Never doubt the good you are doing, because you are helping. Take care, until next time, lots of love Grandma and Grandpa xoxoxox

Anonymous said...

Hi Boogies,
My heart aches for you and everyone there who are enduring such grief and hardships. I'm not sure if its a small blessing for some of these children who have never known life to be different, this daily struggle of hunger, illness,and working endlessly only to exist has been what they would consider normal life because they have not lived anything else. I would think it would be even harder for those who have seen the possibilities of what life can be like without war, and still harder yet for people like you coming from different countries where we have been pampered and sheltered in an entirely different world from what these people know.
You have such a big heart and so much compassion that I know it would be devastating for you to want to help make them all well and safe and not have the right tools or medicine to do it. Where things that would seem like a minor annoyance here could be cleared up in a week or so, can turn into something life threatening there due to lack of simple medical supplies. Please remember though that compassion even though it is not a cure, can be great medicine. Know that if I were deathly ill I would not expect for you to be able to cure me .... but if you could hold my hand for a moment, I will know that you cared.
Please hold on to the good that you are doing there.
You are making a difference ... even if it is only with one person at a time you are touching lives more than you know.

PS sounds like your Angels are working overtime over there so I will send you a couple of mine as I think yours can use the rest. lol
Stay safe, we love you and miss you!

Kara

Anonymous said...

Hi Nins
Never second guess why you are there. Some of these things are hard to face and make you feel guilty as you were born into something different. These people never take for granted why you are there and know that you cannot offer them more then you already have. You know that I am not very religous, but I was told something a little while ago that made some sense to me and helped me out quite a bit. It goes like this :

God loves us all so much that he will only give us what he knows we are capable of handling.We all have our crosses to bear. The people that you have helped were born into war and poverty and they accept that as Allha's / God's test. The crosses that you and I have to carry is the strength to see these people through all of their tests. It doesnt mean to always have to give material things, but a smile and a wave goes such a long way, and if we have the means to give material items then we should. Even a pat on the back or taking the hoe from the farmer for a day can mean so much.

You know me, I am not a religous person, and NO I have not become born again, but it was some advice I received and thought it would be appropriate to pass on to you right now.
Whether is is a piece of orange or a bottle of water, it is so very much appreaciated by the locals.
I am very proud of you as is the rest of your family. Belinda, you are doing an excellent job. I could only wish all Canadians would follow the example that you are setting for Canada right now.
I love you and miss you.
Talk soon
All my love
Dad
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Please post this for Belinda
I wrote it and hope it gives Belinda some comfort.
Thanks


To my daughter so far away,
With strength and courage,
She does her part,
To serve her country and prove her mettle,
Sacrificing her freedoms ,
To give others rights;
I pray for you daily and wish you well.

Your home and family waits,
Your country and your family are your fans,
Most will never know your experiences in that far away land.

You are a soldier now, doing what you must,
I am giving you all my love ,support , and trust.

It wasn’t that long ago,
You used to watch me come and go,
I now know the thoughts that entered your mind,
Every time that I had to deploy.

Now it is you my lovely daughter ,
Who has deployed to that far away land,
How I wish you were two years old again so I could hold your hand,
To shield your eyes from the evils of the world,
But I must remember you are no longer a little girl.

You are my daughter, the apple of my eye.
You are a soldier, your countries newest Vet.

You will be home soon
With stories to tell
I am so very proud of you, and I wish you well,
Now get out there and give them hell.

You are my daughter, Belinda Shirenne Merritt,
You are a soldier called Cpl Merritt.

Be safe in that far away land,
When you get scared, close your eyes,
And I will be holding your hand.

I love you Belinda
Love Dad
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Hey Belinda,
it is pretty disheartening to see the depth of poverty over in Afghanistan.

Let me know if you need anything specific. We already sent the platoon care package and I tried sending what I would have liked when I was over there and even got ER Plus to buy you something extra.

Things are not the same around the platoon without you, not nearly as exciting or intense!

Hang in there,

Joleil

Anonymous said...

Belinda,
This is Rick, your mother's artist friend... Being a veteran of the American military, I could certainly go on about some of my own experiences... but since you're with the Canadian Forces, I'm reminded of one morning, out on manoeuvres in Germany, and upon waking, hearing another unit cranking up their equipment, and swearing about 'army life' and what have you... This unit was with us for over a half hour or so before I finally noticed a 'subdued' Canadian Oak Leaf... I got all excited, and yelled, "thought you guys were Americans!" Well, to make a long story short, we all had a good laugh, and complained about both armies, together...I realized then, that a soldier was a soldier, and that we all suffer the same way.. That was of course a long time ago, but I will never forget the years I spent serving, and the many times I was side by side other soldiers of other nationalities...I'm proud of those days, and I will always honor all those who serve their countries, no matter what their nationality.